


Princess Jellyfish Abridged

by prucanada



Category: Kuragehime | Princess Jellyfish
Genre: F/F, Parody, Screenplay/Script Format, Trans Female Character, female Kuronosuke
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-16
Updated: 2017-06-16
Packaged: 2018-11-14 23:45:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11218740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prucanada/pseuds/prucanada
Summary: Meet Zucchini Kurashita, an egotistic otaku who's obsessed with jellyfish! She's joined by Kurako and Shoe, who may or may not be in love with her, a demon who sucks out the souls of old men, a Thomas the Tank Engine fanatic, and many other kooky characters.==========This was originally going to be a fully-voiced "Anime Abridged" video, but due to copyright issues it was never completed. So here's the original script and a few visuals! Enjoy!





	Princess Jellyfish Abridged

**Author's Note:**

> Characters:  
> Zucchini Kurashita: The main character and the youngest of the cast. She is obsessed with jellyfish and thinks they’re “so ugly, they’re cute!” She has a crush on Shoe and also on Kurako.  
> Kurako Koibuchi: Daughter of a rich political family. Born Kuranosuke, she discovered that she was actually a girl when she was sent away from her mother. Deeply in love with Zucchini.  
> Chieko: The manager of Amamizukan. Obsessed with traditional Japanese clothes and dolls.  
> Mayaya: One of the Amars. Obsessed with Records of Three Kingdoms. Makes flourishing hand-motions while murmuring “Mayayayayaya....”  
> Banba: One of the Amars. Obsessed with trains, especially Thomas the Tank Engine. Speaks in a childlike manner.  
> Jiji: One of the Amars. Is actually a demon who steals the souls of old men. Sounds sweet and innocent, but when in “demon form” she speaks creepily.  
> Shoe Koibuchi: Kurako’s half-brother. “Holier-than-Thou” virgin. He was named after his mother’s extensive shoe collection.  
> Vixen: A “foxy” real estate agent who manipulates Shoe into thinking they did the diddly. Speaks only in fox-noises from What Does the Fox Say.  
> Benjamin “Benz” Hanamori: The Koibuchi family’s chaffeur, who is extremely obsessed with Mercedes-Benz cars.

_(the scene opens with Child Zucchini visiting the jellyfish at the aquarium with her mother)_

 

** Mom **

Look at that one! Its tentacles look just like the lace on the dress of a princess, don’t they?

****

** Child Zucchini **

_(small, awed noises)_

 

** Mom **

_(small chuckle)_

Tell you what, Zucchini. When you grow up and get married, I’ll make you a dress just like that jellyfish.

 

** Zucchini **

_(voiceover)_

When I was little, my mom used to take me to see the jellyfish in the aquarium.

 

** Mom **

You’ll be the prettiest princess at the ball, in your jellyfish dress....

 

** Zucchini **

_(voiceover)_

She always used to tell me that all girls grow up and blossom into beautiful princesses. And you know what?

 

_(scene changes to Zucchini in a crowd)_

 

** Zucchini **

_(voiceover)_

_(enthusiastically)_

She was right!

 

_(scene changes to Zucchini arriving at Amamizukan)_

 

** Zucchini **

Zucchini Kurashita, age 18! The most beautiful girl in Tokyo!

 

_(Chieko, Mayaya, Jiji, and Banba all appear briefly, smiling)_

 

** Zucchini **

_(voiceover)_

_(small giggle)_

See? I’m way prettier than they are.

 

_(scene changes to the Amars sitting around the table, having tea)_

 

** Zucchini **

While I was out today, I took it upon myself to bring you all back some trinkets.

_(rummages through her purse, shows Banba a camera)_

Banba, there was a Thomas the Tank Engine at the park. Being the benevolent person that I am, I took a picture for you.

 

 

 

** Banba **

_(takes the camera)_

_(awed)_

There he is...my hero.

 

** Zucchini **

_(voiceover)_

This is Banba. She’s at least 30 years old, but she’s weirdly obsessed with that kid’s show about the trains with faces.

_(takes a package of fabric from her purse)_

Chieko, I saw this on my way home and decided to buy it for you. Aren’t I nice?

 

** Chieko **

_(takes the fabric)_

_(enthusiastic)_

Oh, thank you so much, Zucchini! Oh, this pattern will look so beautiful on Midoriko!

 

** Zucchini **

_(voiceover)_

Chieko’s obsessed with traditional Japanese fashion--which is pretty lame, but to each her own. She also has this giant collection of dolls. She calls them her “daughters.” Weird.

 

** Mayaya **

_(muttering)_

Mayayayayayayaya....

 

** Zucchini **

Yeah, yeah, I didn’t forget you, Mayaya. I got you some of your weird figurines.

_(hands some capsules to Mayaya)_

 

** Mayaya **

_(shouting)_

Mayayaya!! Records of Three Kingdoms mini figures!!

_(she repeats the sound as she opens each capsule, becoming more excited each time)_

Mayayaya...Mayayayaya!...Mayayayayaya!!

 

** Zucchini **

_(voiceover)_

This is--you guessed it--Mayaya. She’s always waving her hands around weird and muttering her name under her breath. It’s kinda creepy. Oh, and she likes this thing called Records of Three Kingdoms. ...I have no idea what that is.

_(rummages in her purse)_

Oh, Jiji.

_(hands Jiji a flier)_

I saw this flier at the train station. Apparently some old guy is having a concert this weekend, and I know you like old guys--weird as that is--but I figured you’d want to go.

 

** Jiji **

_(takes the flier, blushing)_

_(sweet voice)_

Oh my...he’s so handsome...!

_(demon voice)_

I shall feast upon his soul!

 

** Zucchini **

Yeah...okay, whatever.

_(voiceover)_

And this is Jiji. She’s like, weirdly obsessed with old men. And says freaky stuff all the time. But, whatever. That’s just Jiji, I guess.

 

_(scene changes to show the exterior of Amamizukan)_

 

** Zucchini **

_(voiceover)_

Anyway, so we all live in this boarding house called Amamizukan. It’s pretty fun. I like feeling like the most normal person around.

_(laughs)_

 

_(scene changes to the aquarium once more)_

 

** Zucchini **

_(voiceover)_

Remember the last place you took me to, mom? It was that same aquarium with all those ugly jellyfish.

 

_(scene changes to show Zucchini alone in her room, drawing)_

 

** Zucchini **

_(voiceover)_

I don’t know what it is about these hideous things that make me love them so much, but I do. They repulse me, yet...intrigue me.

 

_(scene changes to show Child Zucchini visiting Mom in the hospital)_

 

** Child Zucchini **

_(pointing to pictures in a book)_

_(enthusiastic)_

Look, mom! This reminds me of that gross lunch lady at the cafeteria. And this one makes me think of the boogers that kid in my class always wipes on his desk! Ew!

 

** Mom **

Zucchini, I thought you liked jellyfish! Why do you always compare them to such awful things?

 

** Child Zucchini **

_(happily)_

They’re gross!

_(laughs)_

Oh, but check this out, mom!

_(points to the book)_

If you squint at the word “jellyfish” it kinda looks like my name! Fess up, mom. Did you name me after a jellyfish?

 

** Mom **

_(stating the obvious)_

...Your name is Zucchini...

 

_(scene changes to show Zucchini alone in her room)_

****

** Zucchini **

_(voiceover)_

Ah, good times, good times. So, anyway....

 

_(scene changes to show Zucchini at the pet store)_

 

** Zucchini **

_(voiceover)_

_(continuing from previous line)_

...I thought I’d go visit Clara.

_(happily)_

Ah, Clara, you’re so cute. Well, I mean, cuter than most jellyfish.

_(laughs)_

_(gasps as another jellyfish appears)_

Ew, what is that nasty thing? Wait--

_(frightened, worried)_

\--is that a Moon jelly? OMG! But I read that if a Spotted jelly and a Moon jelly are in the same tank, the Spotted jelly will friggin’ DIE! I have to tell the shopkeeper!

_(runs to the door, stumbles, then gasps)_

Oh no...it’s a guy! A weird guy...I can’t talk to him! I’m too cool to talk to him! ...But...!

 

_(Zucchini imagines herself talking to Clara)_

 

** Clara **

_(scared)_

Zucchini, you have to help me!

 

** Zucchini **

_(tearing up)_

Clara...!

 

** Clara **

Zucchini...!

 

** Zucchini **

Clara!

 

** Clara **

Zucchini!

****

** Zucchini **

Clara!

 

** Clara **

Zucchini!

 

** Zucchini **

Clara!

 

** Clara **

Zucchini...! ...Is that all you can say?? Save me, already!

 

** Zucchini **

_(deep breath, mustering her confidence)_

...Okay. For Clara...I will lower myself to his level.

_(taps on the door)_

 

** Shopkeeper **

_(looks up)_

Ugh...

_(goes to the door)_

 

** Zucchini **

_(jumps back)_

Eugh!

 

** Shopkeeper **

_(trying unsuccessfully to hide his annoyance)_

What? Can’t you see that we’re closed? And stuff?

 

** Zucchini **

_(deep breath)_

...Are you trying to kill Clara on purpose?

 

** Shopkeeper **

_(confused, a bit frightened)_

...What?

 

** Zucchini **

_(angrily)_

Murderer...!

 

** Shopkeeper **

_(speaking quickly, nervous)_

What?? What do you know? I swear, I didn’t kill him, he just fell on my knife!

 

** Zucchini **

_(deadpan)_

...What.

 

** Shopkeeper **

_(deadpan)_

...What.

_(shoves Zucchini to the ground)_

_(aggressive tone, still nervous)_

G-get outta here! You don’t know nothin’!

 

** Zucchini **

_(short series of pained grunting noises as she falls over and rolls across the ground)_

 

** Kurako **

_(startled as Zucchini bumps into her)_

Oh! You okay, hun?

 

** Zucchini **

_(gasps, hurriedly picks up her glasses)_

I’m so sorry!

_(looks up at Kurako, gasps again)_

_(voiceover)_

Oh, my...she’s so...hot!

 

** Kurako **

_(questioning)_

...Lover’s quarrel?

 

** Shopkeeper **

_(offended)_

No way! Why would I go out with her? I mean, seriously, she--

 

** Kurako **

_(getting angry, keeping her anger contained)_

So you’re not an abusive boyfriend, you just knocked over some girl you don’t even know?

 

** Shopkeeper **

_(frightened, nervous)_

Sh-she was gonna report me to the police!

 

** Kurako **

_(deadpan)_

What.

 

** Shopkeeper **

_(hurriedly, trying to change the subject)_

Nothin’! Anyway, she--

 

** Zucchini **

_(cutting him off, speaking quickly)_

I just wanted him to transfer that Spotted jellyfish from the tank, because if he doesn’t soon, it’ll die! And I can’t let such a cute jellyfish die!

 

** Kurako **

Die, you say?

 

** Zucchini **

Die!

 

** Kurako **

Die?

 

** Zucchini **

Die!

 

** Kurako **

Die?

 

** Zucchini **

Die!

 

** Kurako **

Die?

 

** Zucchini **

Die!

 

** Clara **

_(sighs)_

Not this again....

 

** Kurako **

_(enthusiastic)_

Then let’s just take it!

 

** Shopkeeper **

_(confused)_

What? You can’t do that.

 

** Kurako **

_(growing excited)_

You hold him, and I’ll punch!

 

_(the scene flashes to black as the sound of a fist striking flesh is heard)_

_(the scene changes to show Zucchini and Kurako walking down the street, shopping bags and jellyfish in hand)_

 

** Kurako **

_(happily)_

Well, that was fun! I haven’t had a good brawl like that in a long time. It isn’t ladylike, you see.

 

** Zucchini **

_(a bit uncertain)_

It was sort of fun, yes. Usually I try to avoid people like him, but...

_(voiceover)_

She’s so beautiful....

 

_(the scene changes to briefly show each Amar with her hobby)_

 

** Banba **

_(happily, playing with a toy train)_

Chugga-chugga...choo-choo!

 

** Jiji **

_(laughing quietly, breathily and a bit creepy, blushing as she pastes her flier to the wall)_

 

** Chieko **

_(happily, draping the new cloth over the shoulders of one of her dolls)_

Oh Midoriko, I knew it would be perfect on you!

 

** Mayaya **

_(excitedly)_

Mayayayaya...MAYAYAYAYAYAYA!!

 

_(the scene changes to show Zucchini opening the front door to Amamizukan)_

 

** Zucchini **

_(quietly)_

Good, no one’s here. Come on. But be quiet, okay? If the others found out you were here, they’d turn to stone! Like, literal, actual stone.

 

** Kurako **

_(offended)_

Are you saying that I look like Medusa?

 

_(scene changes to show Zucchini and Kurako in the bathroom)_

 

** Zucchini **

_(setting up Clara in the bathtub)_

There you go, Clara. This bathtub’s much better than that horrible old tank at the pet store, isn’t it?

 

** Clara **

_(calmly)_

Where the _(dolphin noises)_ am I?

 

** Zucchini **

_(looks at Kurako, a bit uncertain)_

So...thank you again for your help.

 

** Kurako **

Oh, it’s no problem.

 

** Zucchini **

_(looks away, murmurs)_

You’re so beautiful....

 

** Kurako **

_(curious)_

What was that?

 

** Zucchini **

_(squeaks)_

Nothing!

_(scene changes to Zucchini’s bedroom)_

 

** Zucchini **

Yeah, so...this is where the magic happens!

 

** Kurako **

...Magic?

 

** Zucchini **

_(seductively)_

I’m very talented...

_(brightly)_

...at drawing!

 

** Kurako **

_(curious)_

You drew all these jellyfish?

 

** Zucchini **

_(proudly)_

Yup!

 

** Kurako **

...But they’re so ugly.

 

** Zucchini **

Yup!

 

** Kurako **

Why would you spend so much time drawing such hideous things?

_(looks at a drawing)_

Except this one. This one looks like...snow-white lace! Beautiful....

_(brightly)_

Well, time for bed! Good night!

_(grabs a blanket, lays on the floor and starts to snore)_

 

** Zucchini **

_(disappointed)_

But...we could have shared my bed....

 

_(end, credits roll)_

 

**Author's Note:**

> And there you have it.  
> If I remember correctly, this whole thing started because my friend kept pronouncing "Tsukimi" as "Zucchini," so then we just kinda went crazy with the whole thing.  
> I'd started the script for the second episode, but never finished it because that's when the copyright issues popped up. So I'll likely post that unfinished second script and any extra notes with the rest of my Unfinished and Abandoned Fics. I may also post some of the voice acting at some point, too, since that was all finished.
> 
> Also Chieko had the closest personality to her anime counterpart and I wanted to use just lines directly from the dub as often as possible. But when she spoke she sounded like a chain smoker on her last legs.
> 
> Edit 6/18/17: Here's the unfinished script for Episode 2, if anyone's interested! http://archiveofourown.org/works/11204910/chapters/25122945


End file.
